You're Little

You’re little, too little for pimples or stubble. And yet you’re a rebel— your dimples spell trouble. You garble and gurgle a verbal-ish burble, You dribble your drool on a plush purple gerbil. You’re partially mobile: you toddle and bobble, Full throttle, you model a wobbling waddle. You warble The Wiggles, not Buggles or Eagles, You shuffle to pre-scuffle, post-skiffle Beatles. You whittle with chisels and scribble on easels, You riddle the mantle with murals of weasels. You’re forceful: you needfully snuggle in huddles, A megalo-mogul of snuggles and cuddles. You're puzzled by puzzles and other boondoggle: You scrabble at Scrabble, you’re boggled by Boggle. Don’t press fork to pencil! Not stencil, utensil! I tousle my temple, my muscles grow tensile... You’re lingually baffled, befuddled, bamboozled. To stumble through novels? A doubtful perusal. "The Trial" on Kindle? Your vigilance dwindles. Too youthful for Frindle or Anne of Green Gables, You’re partial to oral recitals of fables: Camelot, Hansel and Gretel, Kris Kringle, Pan, Rumpelstiltskin, Rapunzel, Van Winkle. We keep a few newfangled titles on shuffle, though: Bemelmans’ Madeline, Donaldson’s Gruffalo. Your film predilections are equally gentle: You’re totally tickled by Tangled, not Yentl. From Frizzle to Frindle, from Woozles... Titular idols enkindle amusal. (You write your own sequels, you squiggle and doodle ‘em. Phrasally fuddled, they’re muddled sardoodledom.) Hiddleston, Ruffalo, Eccleston, Cheadle: You marvel at Marvel with loyalty credal. Your sonic debacles enfeeble my fettle: Don’t tweedle that thin metal kettle drum pedal! You brattle a rattle, you diddle a fiddle, To tackle the bugle, you bubble your spittle. With brash paradiddles you crackle a cymbal, You tinkle triangles (plus thavils and timbals.) You tootle a piccolo’s fipple, then dandle And handily vandalize mandolin handles! You tidily tickle out fugal-born jumbles, You tonally bungle the flugelhorn’s rumbles. A loud, instrumental ensemble assembles, With turbulent treble and tremulous trembles. Our battles get primal when foods are finagled: You crumple a crumpet, you crumble a crumble You burgle a bagful of bugels or bagels. You crumple a creme brulee crumble (it crumbles.) Then guttle up morsels in jubilant tumbles... You shovel in Kettle chips, Pringles and Ruffles, Your tipple is Red Bull, with guzzles unmuffled. You tunefully croon for a spoonful of trifle, You gargle a mouthful of treacle: an eyeful! You chug apple Snapple, you chew Dubble Bubble, You gobble up pretzels with knobbly nubbles. You grovel for gumballs, you pick thicker strudels, You smuggle some rum balls, you lick snickerdoodles! You drizzle some treacly maple on waffles, Then sample a handful most ample: How awful! You’re hostile to vittles that lack razzle-dazzle: You shun pumpernickel, you’re frazzled by basil. You'll suckle on curdling kettle corn kernels, But broccoli bushels you label infernal? From nostril to tonsil, your tastes are distasteful. You wrinkle at jarfuls of mussels— how wasteful! Though stippled with freckles, you fecklessly prickle At prickles and speckles that dapple a pickle. You’re fickle with fennel and startled by scrambles, You grapple with ladles and gargle the Campbell’s. You'll dabble in berries, both thimble and huckle, But heckle falafel, you suck honeysuckle. You'll nibble on noodles, but nasally crinkle (your normal rebuttal to vittles sans sprinkles.) Yes truffles (which type? Detrimental to dental.) You wheedle: “White castle?” A dismal supposal; I grumpily crumple that fragile proposal. You giggle, and goggle at gaggles of seagulls. You ogle, agog, at a scraggly beagle. You cripple the spindly tendrils of weevils, beetles, or bumblebees- morally evil! You sniggle for gunnels, you cheerfully coddle The ruffles that spangle a small axolotl. In kennels, you meddle with kangal-bred poodles, Then gobble their kibble, the whole kit-caboodle! A snaggletooth cat, who is brindle and feral, Has mangled my sandals and flannel apparel! You nuzzle the muzzles of mongrels unstable, You tinkle on hay bales in saddlebreds’ stables. You dorsally straddle ambivalent cattle, You buffalo buffalo, then you skidaddle. You cackle, and shackle some grackles to jackals, Kerfuffles ensue as they bristle their hackles. You wiggle the wattle of one woeful eagle, A trifle which may be a trifle illegal! You jostle a petrel, a kestrel you throttle: You’re gleefully channeling Quetzalcoatl! Through brambles and thistles you ramble and straggle, You gambol through nettles then amble, bedraggled. •••••••••••••• Your petulance fills me with oodles of scruples: Not single, not double, not triple— quadruple. You speedily shuttle from pitfall to peril. Like Evel Knievel, through hurdles you barrel. I twiddle a little invisible gavel, A civil tribunal to shortly unravel… You peddle your prattle (your own paralegal) You’re shamefully blameful, an equal to Smeagol. You tattle on Tottle (our turtle)— what twaddle! You mumble and waffle and fumble and dawdle. You brabble your drivel and brash taradiddles. I crackle my knuckles, you naggle: “ACQUITTAL!” Your logic’s abysmal, it swivels in circles: In essence, akin to that jingle of Urkel’s. I signal your guilt by my eyeball parental, The penalty’s awful— time out ‘til you're gentle. You vocally call for my formal recusal— My thoughts on this brutal accusal? Refusal. Your libelous scuttlebutt’s but anecdotal! Your jugular juggles a shrill, panicked yodel. Your legal upheaval in shambles, you scramble— And strangle the cat in a mad, screwball gamble. You’re spoiled. Your privileges sparkle, unbridled. A novel on you’d be entitled, “Entitled”. I trample your hornswoggles, swindles and piffle. You struggle to stifle your snuffles and sniffles. No shekyls or rubles, no pigful of nickels Can settle your debt in this sad, penal pickle. You crankily tangle, I angrily wrangle, You hang from your ankle and dangle at angles. A snaggle of haggle, you waggle and wiggle, You wriggle and joggle, you jangle and jiggle. I cancel your squabbles— disgruntled, you trundle, And nestle yourself in your trundle bed, bundled. You’re partially tranquil, I thankfully idle. I neurally toggle to neutral, and sidle. •••••••••• The hustle and bustle of tussles paternal Eternally spiral: diurnal, nocturnal. At me all your quibbles and squabbles are funneled: The mental equivalent of carpal tunnel. Someday I'll travel to Tripoli, Bassel Brussels, Jerusalem, Balmoral castle, Newcastle, Naples, Seattle, Grenoble Bangalore, Appleton— even Chernobyl! ‘Til then, I will wrestle with postnatal riddles. You're little, my angel, my angel, you're little.